It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
