Im at strip club and am horny
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
