I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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