I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's blow job season.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
