Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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