you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
