i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
