I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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