omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
