if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
