This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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