i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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