Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
