You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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