Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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