yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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