His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
