he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
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Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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