IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
