There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
pray to the hookup gods
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize