i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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