Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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