I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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