he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I will be naked everywhere
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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