The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
now i know why i became what i already was.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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