I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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