No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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