You're my little dorito
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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