The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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