HIV tests are more positive than that guy
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
