He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
