I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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