I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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