i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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