We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
