It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
