I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
