i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
