How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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