They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my liver is dry heaving
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
