and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
