no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
