Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
