Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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