they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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