i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
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Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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