He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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