There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
