also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
