Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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