I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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