Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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