I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we made out on top of his cat.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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