Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
