I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
