Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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