i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
