we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
