i need an iv and a liver transplant
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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