So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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