so explain again why im purple
no
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
