where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
