Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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